Thursday, March 4, 2010

Just Say Yes!

I have been trying to say "yes" to my children more, because so often my first response is "no". I don't even know why I do this, maybe it's just the easier response. And sometimes after saying "no" I'll wonder to myself why did I just say that? Sometimes I have no good reason for it at all. So in order to be the better mommy that I am always trying to strive to be but feel as though I fail miserably day after day I have decided to start saying "yes" or at least to stop and think before I just blurt out my usual answer. So the other day as we were getting ready for school I got my first chance to put my new experiment into practice. Madi was going through her drawers looking for something to wear and after much contemplation picked out her ensemble. Now it could have been the craziness of the morning, you have to imagine our house in the morning as we get ready for school. It's complete chaos, five bowls of cereal, each person wanting a different kind, an assembly line of sandwiches to be packed into lunches. Finding shoes, jackets, backpacks and socks, oh how I loathe to find matching socks. There are always missing socks, it is a constant battle in my life daily. Oh how I miss the days when we lived in AZ and we hardly ever wore socks, I am such a flip flop girl. So back to the story, like I said it could have been the craziness of the morning or the peace that God had given me that it's going to be okay Danielle just breathe, your kids don't need to look perfect in public. I think I have this insecurity that if my kids look well groomed then people won't give me dirty looks when I go out into public with all of them, I have my fair share of stories of pitied looks, shaking heads when we pass by, and the blank stares as they count silently in their heads as they move their gaze to each child and then back to me with a look of "she must be crazy". They assume that we are Mormon or Catholic and not that we simply wanted to have this many children. We've been told straight to our faces that we are retarded for having as many kids as we do. It just amazes me that people feel the need to share their opinion without being asked, I don't recall ever asking them! My children are a reward from the Lord (Psalms 127:3) and the fact that people are thinking of my children as burdens and not as blessings makes me so sad. If they just met one of my children they would see that this world is far better off having them in it than if they weren't here at all. But as I stood there looking at Madi I just smiled and then started laughing out loud, sure Madi you can wear that it's perfect. And the funny thing is it was, she was still beautiful, sweet Madi and even better she was so incredibly proud of herself. Now I don't write this to brag on myself that I am an amazing mother, believe me I'm not I have a lot to work on still. I am writing this because I have just won a huge victory for myself! I am doing an amazing Bible study at my church called "Called to Conquer" by Dorothy Davis. This past weeks lesson was called "Defenses against the Devil" and how we need to be aware of his tactics for bringing us down. It was an eye opener to me that I have been influenced by his tactic to use lies and half-truths to deceive me. That I have been brought down by guilt and other's words to shape who I believe I am. The truth is I am His beloved, His child and I am perfect in His eyes. What a freeing feeling that was to me, that yes I have and will fail as a mother, wife, friend, sister, grand daughter and daughter but that in spite of the things I have done and will do He still loves me.

"The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love. He will not always accuse, nor will He harbor His anger forever; He does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is His love for those who fear Him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us. As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear Him".
Psalms 103:8-13


I know that was a lot but I needed to say it. She said it best... "Feelings can be a little like our laundry. Sometimes we can't sort them until we dump them out."
Beth Moore


  1. This is probably my favorite blog from you! You simply inspire me Danielle.

  2. "Can I get a witness?" Amen, sister. what a testimony! I always feel better about myself when I listen to my Heavenly Father instead of the devil.

  3. OOPS!! I forgot to sign my name to that last comment(Anna)

  4. Amazing how the Lord will do the same work in others hearts within the same time frame. On Friday I found myself saying "no" to Avery asking if she could go outside to watch the rabbit eat the corn cob I placed in the cage. I cringed at what had become my "ignorant default". I quickly corrected myself with a "yes, sorry" ... the apology beyond comprehending by her innocent heart, but owed ... the revelation of how selfish my reponse truly was and the much needed prayer for forgiveness. "No" because it was easier ... it would not carry the commitment that a "yes" or even "maybe" does to a child. In that moment I disgusted myself and made the same resolution. Keep me accountable ... for their sake.

  5. I didn't know you had a blog until I saw your post on fb. I love it!

    I often say no simply because if I say yes, it generally means I have yet one more thing to do on my list for the day. I find my self wonder as well why I say no, but lately I've realized that if I just say yes once in a while, it makes for a smoother running of my day and I feel more accomplished. We only get one round at this life and I want my kids to grow up and have fond memories of the things we did together rather than wishing they did that as a child.

    My mom used to laugh at me because with the first 2 children, it drove me crazy if my kids did not match, and that included their play clothes. Fast forward to 3 more kids, I am thrilled when my kids can find 2 socks that fit them and who cares if they don't match. I realize that NO ONE even looks at their socks! I know I am never looking at other people to see if their socks match.

    With 5 kids, I get the "all they all yours" quite often and the "wow your busy" remarks. I tell those people, I wouldn't have it any other way! We are truly blessed with the gift of children!


    P.S. Even when I do fold socks in pairs, my daughter takes hers apart and mixes them up. She refuses to wear them matching!

  6. Thank you for posting this Danielle...You are very inspring and this is just what I needed!


Always happy to hear from you!

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