Thank you for all your encouraging comments! And to let anyone know that if you're sick of my ramblings to stop reading now, because I have more:) God has definitely been revealing Himself to me a lot lately, and it's been simply mind blowing! And quite frankly, humbling because of how simple it all is, it just takes a while for me to get it. I have often prayed that the Lord would give me an answer as bold and bright as a neon sign or I am going to miss it completely:) And He has, not with bright lights but through His living Word.
Lately, I have been going crazy, not the bad crazy, the normal crazy if that makes any sense:) See what I told you, I'm kind of loony. As women we deal with so much hormonally, ugh! I hate that word, but honestly that's a lot of what I've been dealing with. Having babies so close together, nursing, and just not giving my body the time it needs to recover has taken a toll on me. And I am feeling it!
I have prayed this prayer off and on that the Lord would develop a higher level of discernment in me and help me to know the truth so well that I can quickly recognize the most finely crafted lie.
And ladies if you're like me when our hormones are out of whack our thoughts are not always rational. So today as I battled with all these thoughts going on in my head, and me trying to make sense of it all, while desperately trying not to act on every single emotion I am feeling, and trying to figure out which ones were reality and which ones were just me being overly sensitive. It came to me like a neon sign so to speak, He had answered my above prayer, I was discerning! Which of my thoughts were true and which were lies I had made up in my head. I can remember a time, sadly as early as last week, when I would have just buried these lies that I believed as truth down deep, and then would later surface and rear their ugly heads later on. Ahhhhhhhh, and just having this revelation of letting go of all my cares, frustrations, emotions and worries gave me this visual of myself carrying heavy buckets of water on my shoulders, and as I gave all my cares to God, I could feel the heaviness of their weight dropping to the ground. And instantly I felt relief and a lightness I have not felt for a really long time. So right then and there I thanked Him for constantly being so faithful to me when I am not always so faithful to Him. But He wasn't finished with me just yet. I opened my Bible to the Psalms where I have been reading lately and He showed me a verse I have probably read a hundred times but never had quite the same meaning as it did today.
"Cast your cares on the Lord and He will sustain you; He will never let the righteous fall." Psalms 55:22
Okay Lord I get it, He can be so pushy some times:) In my Bible I have on the side of the page extra comments on some of the verses and this is what it said..
Letting Go - Psalms 55:22
David brings his concerns and fears to God, asking Him to take over and take care of the problems he's facing. He knows he can trust God with the outcome. God has proven Himself before and will do so again.(Psalm 55:16-17)
Much of the time, what we care about is not entirely within our control. We can't dictate the results of our best efforts; we can't force our hopes to materialize; and we definitely can't make someone we love healthy and happy by the sheer force of our will. When we try to control outcomes, we carry a burden too heavy for human shoulders to bear. What a relief it is to finally let go, to heave our heavy burden onto the strong back of the Lord. He promises to sustain our hearts and MINDS with His peace (Php 4:6-7). And no matter what He chooses to do with what concerns us, we have the assurance that His decisions are guided by His love for us(1Pe 5:7).
So basically what I said but way less hormonal,ha ha. Again I thanked Him and as I was shutting my Bible a piece of paper fell out with a quote I had written down a while back.
"Even though I may forget the prayers I've prayed to God, He never forgets a single thing I ask. He treasures every little prayer I've ever prayed and is still weaving fulfillment's. It's a concept almost beyond comprehension; there must be answered prayers most days that I never even recognize as such."
"Red Moon Rising" by Pete Greig(I may need to check the spelling on his name again)
Gezie Pete! I get it, I get it! Note to self: Be careful what you pray for:) So I got the big neon sign I had asked for and I am truly thankful for it, so please pray for me, I need it I'm crazy remember:) And also because I need to go and apologize to my hubby for being a cranky wife. Pray for him to, he's gonna need it:) Now on a lighter note is she not the cutest thing EVER!